Chief Executive Officer of Chartman Herbal Centre, Dr Charity Twumasi Ankrah, has advised individuals to prioritise self-validation and inner peace over societal timelines for marriage, warning that decisions made under pressure rarely end well.
Speaking on Let’s Talk on Joy Prime, Dr Ankrah explained that many people pursue marriage to satisfy family, peers or social media expectations rather than personal conviction—an approach she described as risky.
“Anytime you are looking for validation from people because of what you are doing, you are depressed,” she stated.
According to Dr Ankrah, the constant need for external approval often signals deeper emotional distress that goes unaddressed.
She noted that the habit of seeking applause leaves people vulnerable to choices they are not emotionally prepared for, particularly life-changing decisions such as marriage. She added that when external voices drive such decisions, the foundation of the relationship is already weakened.
“People must not appreciate your hard work. You have to appreciate it yourself,” she noted.
She explained that self-appreciation, independent of public perception, is essential, adding that without it, individuals may enter marriage seeking completion rather than partnership.
Dr Ankrah warned that without internal satisfaction, marriage can become a performance rather than a meaningful commitment.
“You are doing it for the pictures, for the family, for the timeline, not for yourself,” she explained.
She said this mindset often leaves couples unprepared for the realities that follow the wedding ceremony.
Dr Ankrah cautioned against rushing into marriage to meet social expectations, stressing that such decisions rarely deliver the peace many anticipate. She noted that the desire to “catch up” or avoid judgment pushes many into commitments they later regret.
She described a common scenario in which someone might “just say yes because time is going” and then “face severe consequences in their personal life thereafter.”
According to her, the pressure to marry by a certain age ignores emotional and mental readiness.
“Marriage will not fix what you haven’t fixed in yourself,” she said.
She added that when self-worth is tied to relationship status, disappointment becomes almost inevitable.
Dr Ankrah advised individuals to adopt a more reflective approach, encouraging them to “loosen up, feel good, and feel happy about themselves” before deciding whether marriage is truly desired.
She stressed that mindset and preparation must come before timelines.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup,” she explained.
According to her, a person who feels whole brings strength into a union, while one seeking validation brings unmet needs.
She concluded that genuine peace comes when decisions are made from a place of confidence rather than fear of judgment or societal pressure. Marriage, she said, should complement an already fulfilled life rather than serve as an escape from an unfulfilled one.
“I’m mature enough to know what I want,” she said, urging individuals to choose marriage based on personal readiness rather than pressure.
“The final yes should be yours, and it should come from a place of joy, not fear.”
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